


go on live your life (but i miss you more than i did yesterday)

by gottabewhatomorrowneeds



Series: my way home is through you [3]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Other, anyway post - comics, bc she deserves a name!, i call the girls mom ‘helena’, not sure what to tag this as?, the girl and her mom are réunited!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gottabewhatomorrowneeds/pseuds/gottabewhatomorrowneeds
Summary: It’s been a while since the Girl brought BLi to its knees and reunited with her mother. Finally, the Girl can ask a question that’s bothered her since she found out she had a mother: who’s her father?
Series: my way home is through you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818130
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	go on live your life (but i miss you more than i did yesterday)

**Author's Note:**

> tbh i recommend reading the other stories in this series first, ie c’mon angel don’t you cry, or else this might not make much sense

It’s hot.

Sure, the Girl managed to destroy a dystopian society, free all souls bound to the earth that became their hellish purgatory, and helped start the rebuilding of society, but she still can’t stop global warming.

She wipes the sweat off the crest of her forehead and glances over. Her mom walks right beside her, not even breaking a sweat in this sweltering heat as they march side by side. The Girl huffs and flicks a few curls out of her eye- chopping off all her hair with Cherri’s sword, while a totally badass move, didn’t exactly give her an even haircut.

It’s been a few days since the Girl literally and metaphorically blew up. She’s still a bit confused about what this all means- she only understands a couple of things. One: the Director is dead, and BLi is in shambles. It hasn’t been defeated completely, and there’s still a lot of clean up to do, and dismantling of secret pro-BLi factions and pill dispensaries, but they’re getting close to rebuilding a new, completely non-monochrome society.

She knows that Korse is still alive, and she has turned it into a side mission to find him. He’s the one who’s destroyed so much of her life, her siblings' life, and as she learns, her mother’s life, too. The only way for this new society to blossom is for those who perpetrated to suffer.

Two: “blowing up” allowed for the souls trapped on earth, either because they had been turned into Drac’s or because they were lingering souls awaiting for their mask to be delivered in the mailbox, to be set free. The Witch was working overtime now, relaying souls into the afterlife while those poor, Drac souls stumble about in this new reality trying to figure out where they belong.

And finally, three: her mother had been a Drac for nearly fifteen years now, and was released when the Girl blew up. Now, her mother and her are together again, and her mother has been filling her in on various details about herself while the Girl listens closely to every word.

Her mother’s name is Helena Milligram. She served in the last leg of the Helium Wars with Hot Chimp, Tommy, Dr. D, and Cherri Cola, and after realising that those wars were nothing but a way for BLi to get their hands on blood money, she and a group of disillusioned veterans- Code Red, Code Blue, Monster, Kyle 100%, Ani-Max, and Mike- called the Killjoys, started a revolution by fleeing to the desert. Her mother was the face of the revolution, rallying her peers into joining her fight and performing missions in Battery City, destroying Drac patrols and pill factories and doing as much damage as they could.

For several years, her crew managed to put up a good fight against BLi. It’s a story that sounds eerily familiar to the Girl’s ears- it only took one raid to destroy their entire operation. One raid, and Helena’s crew was slaughtered before her eyes. One raid, and Helena was captured and Draced.

The Girl tells her own story, with as much detail as she can.

She was raised in Battery City for about two years, being studied by scientists and the like to understand the effects of having a Draced mother. She was then freed from Battery City by the Fabulous Killjoys- Jet Star, Kobra Kid, Party Poison, and Fun Ghoul, who were sent on a mission by Dr. D to retrieve her.

When they did save her, they decided to keep her, and for four years they raised her like a little sister. Until one raid ruined everything. Until she was kidnapped by Exterminator Korse and taken back to the city. With no time to lose, her siblings marched into Battery City and fought the entire corporation for her- and one by one, they all fell.

She managed to escape, and for the next nine years, she’s been trying to live up to the heroic expectations that have been placed on her- as a prophet used saviour, and as the shadow of the Fabulous Killjoys.

“You know,” the Girl begins, after she explains her tragic backstory. The heat is far too sweltering for a hug to be comfortable, but Helena does drape an arm across her shoulders for a few seconds before pulling back. “When I lived with the Fabulous Killjoys, Dr. D was never very forthcoming about you. The only thing he ever told any of us was that I had a mom, and that mom was dead, and that she was an old friend of his.”

Helena rolls her eyes. “Honestly, I’ve long ago given up in understanding the inner workings of that man’s mind. But I’m certain he has his reasons- he never does anything without a reason.”

“Yeah, but I wish I knew it. I only learned more about you after they died, and most of that information came from Cherri Cola.”

“Is Cherri still alive?” Her eyes are sparkling, and the Girl hates to have to wash away the hope on her face.

“No, he died in a gnarly raid a week ago.” 

Helena kicks up a bit of sand. “Of course he did. That man could shoot, sure, but he couldn’t fight. You know, during the war, he was kind of like my older brother. When I realised I was gonna have a kid, I always imagined him as your uncle.”

The Girl can feel a few tears prick her eyes. She keeps her eyes on the sand underfoot. “In the end, he still kind of was.”

“That’s a genuine relief for me.” 

The Girl hesitates. She has a thousand and one questions on her tongue, always has, but now her mother is alive and can answer them. But there is one question she’s always been curious about, ever since she learned that she had a mother. It was something the Fabulous Killjoys could never answer, and it was something Dr. D and Cherri were always tight lipped on.

“Hey, mom, speaking of family…” She rubs her neck. It’s a nervous tick, one that developed years after her friends died, but one she remembers being Fun Ghoul’s. It’s strange, how the echoes of her friends continue to live on. “Well, obviously, I still have a bunch of questions and stuff about you...”

“I’d imagine so.”

“But I was wondering… since, well, Cherri and Dr. D only ever mentioned you. You know, only talked about me having a mom. So I was wondering… who’s my dad?”

There’s a stutter in breath next to her. The Girl glances up and over, watching her mother. She’s still walking in rhythm with the Girl, but there’s layers and layers of grief written over her face. The Girl must have chances upon a sensitive topic.

“Well,” Helena begins, rubbing her fingers against her arm. “I assumed you would already know, if you know about me. I wonder why Dr. D would keep that from you.”

“Maybe we should ouija him. Because I have a shit ton of questions.”

Her mother laughs. “You and next both. That man had more secrets than a body count. But anyway, you wanna know about your other parent, huh? I can do that.”

She yanks a piece of paper from the inside of her Drac suit. The Girl watches with wide eyes as she hands the small scrap to her, and the Girl recognised what it is: a photograph.

It’s faded and torn, clearly missing another half. There’s a person in the picture, wearing a sleek black military uniform. They’re laughing, probably at whatever was happening in the second half of the photo, and there’s something intensely familiar about their face.

The background of the photo is one she recognised. They’re in the barracks, clearly still in the midst of the Helium Wars from the uniform and the organisation within the barracks.

The Girl digs through her pockets and pulls out a different scrap of paper. It’s of her mother, the only picture she has if her, given to her after the Fabulous Killjoys untimely death. It was the only link she ever had to her mother.

She puts the two scraps together and it creates a whole photo. The person in the photo is laughing at her mother, who’s clearly mid sentence. Her mother had an arm wrapped around the person’s shoulders, pulling them down to her height. It’s a strange sight, one filled with an unspoken love, yet it clearly takes place in the middle of a war.

Helena glances over her shoulder at the photograph. “Oh, you managed to get the other half of the photo, huh? Show Pony took that picture when we were serving in the wars- they found a disposable camera. When the wars ended, we were worried that we would end up separated from each other, so we ripped that photo in half and gave it to each other. Your parent had my half, and I had theirs.”

The Girl flips the photo over and sees something scrawled in a penmanship she hadn’t seen in years. It’s Show Pony’s handwriting, which simply said ‘Helena and Mike, 2010.” It makes something in her ache.

“Their name was Mike Milligram,” Helena begins. “We met in the Helium Wars, and we served together for a few years. We became a couple, and we relocated to the city together after the war. We started the Killjoys together, and for a few years, it really did seem like we were gonna win.” She sighs. “But then the raid happened, March 21st, 2013, and Mike died, killed off by a couple of no name exterminators. I knew I was pregnant by then, and I was gonna tell them on their birthday, the 22nd.”

Helena glances at the Girl. The Girl’s own wheels are turning as she speaks. March 22nd… why is that date familiar? 

“If I have one regret in this life, it’s that I never told your parent that we were gonna have a kid.” Helena sighs. “They always wanted to have a family.”

“Tell me about Mike.” The Girl glances at the horizon. They were on their way to Tommy Chow Mein’s shop as a pit stop before they tried to head back towards Battery City. They needed resources, and most of the people in the desert have flocked to the city. She doesn’t think Tommy has, though. The man’s a bit of a hermit.

“They were very, very shy.” Helena smiles. “Painfully so sometimes. Everytime I kissed them, they blushed a red that rivaled Show Pony’s lipstick. They were just so god damn sweet, but they weren’t afraid to kick ass. They’d been serving in the Helium wars since they were fifteen, so they were pretty battle hardened. They had an older sister named Emily, but she died before you were born.”

There’s something strangely familiar in this story. The Girl listens fervently, holding on to every word her mother speaks. 

“They were just a really good guy.” Helena sighs. “I was always super chatty as a kid, and I probably still am, and they would listen to every word. They always listened to me, always made sure I knew I had their attention. And they were always super quiet, unless we got to talking about things they were passionate over. They loved stars, and we would go stargazing all the time. They’d teach me constellations and would tell me stories behind them. You know, we had our first kiss under the stars.”

There’s a soft look on Helena’s face as she glances up at the sky. “Their favourite colour was red. They love super sweet foods. If the war hadn’t happened, they would have loved to have been an aviator to see more of the world. They could never back down from a dare and loved pulling pranks with Show Pony.”

The Girl latches on to every word. The details are all familiar to her, and she can’t explain why. She glances back at the photo, studying Mike.

Long ago, she’s memorized Helena’s features, trying to figure out just how much they look alike. When Dr. D finally gave her this photo, she dedicated hours upon hours gazing at every detail she could procure. She had Helena’s hair texture, curly and thick. She had her broad shoulders and small stature. She has her same eye colour, her skin colour, her lips. Most of her features are obviously Helena’s.

Now, she looks at Mike, trying to figure out what they have in common. She has Mike’s hair colour, and maybe their eye shape. She definitely has their freckles and their nose. She can’t help but wonder what else they have in common- does she have their laugh? Their smile? 

Helena rubs her eyes. “Sorry, I’m sure all that information is boring to you…”

“No…” The Girl brushed against her mother. She wraps her fingers around her hand, holding tight and hoping to never let go. “No, it’s wonderful. It’s answering so many questions I’ve always had.”

Helena smiles at her daughter and tightens her fingers. “You know, Mike always wanted a kid. If you’re interested in finally getting yourself a name, Mike and I always liked the name Joan.”

The Girl’s lips curl at that. “I’ll take it into consideration.”

If she’s honest, she doesn’t think she’s going to give herself a name, at least not anytime soon. She loves her mother dearly, and she loves Mike as much as she can without having ever known them. But the fact of the matter is that she spent so many years of her life with the Fabulous Killjoys, and to shed the name they gave her, the only true connection she has to them, the very first thing they gave her and the very last thing they left behind in their wake- she can’t bring herself to let go. At least not yet.

“Hey!” Helena brightens, straightening as she points at the distance. “Is that the supply store you wanted us to check out?”

It certainly is. She can recognise the outline of that store at any time. She spent quite a bit of her time there when she was younger and the loss of her siblings was still a raw scab.

Tommy isn’t exactly what one would call a good person. He’s greedy by nature, and he’s completely self centered. He’s blunt but he’s honest, and that has its own pros and cons. But that bluntness in her life is something she still values.

Tommy never coddled her, never tiptoed around her siblings. He gave her advice, and he gave it with a straight face. There was no pity to him, just resolve. He genuinely wanted her to do well in life, and he had his own way of showing it.

“Come on!” The Girl cries. “Last one there’s a rotten Power Pup!”

She bursts into a run, tugging her mother along as her feet slaps against the sandy pavement. Her mother lets out a surprised gasp before laughing, cackling as she manages to catch up to her daughter.

The two dance across the sand, laughing and sweating and running. The Girl can’t remember the last time she’s laughed so hard, or ran so fast without being chased. She can’t remember the last time she’s been so free.

( _Party Poison extends a hand to her two year old self. Kobra Kid is during round after round at the group of Dracs in the hallway outside her prison. It’s a blurry memory, based more on the story told to her than her own experience._

_They off their hand. They offer her freedom._

_The Killjoys didn’t know that by sealing their fate in that godforsaken city four years later, the Girl’s freedom would be snatched away, too._ )

They reach the front of the store, stopping just before the doors on the three steps. They’re dripping with sweat, the Girl’s choppy bangs plastered to her forehead, her lungs rattling with half laughs, half breaths. Helena is leaning on her knees, giggling softly while trying to control her breathing. It’s a small moment, so small in the vast infinity of life and death, and yet the Girl can feel the electricity under her skin pulsate with the positive emotions blossoming in her chest. Her heart is pounding from adrenaline and joy, an experience she hasn’t felt since she was six years old, just before the raid that killed off her only family.

When she finally catches her breath, the Girl moves to open the door. “This is Tommy Chow Mein’s store. He’s a huge supplier in the zones. Not a lot of people like him, but he is always stocked.” The Girl leans her head on the cool glass for a moment. “He’s kind of an asshole, but he might be able to help us.”

“Tommy Chow Mein…” her mother repeats, tasting the words on her lips. The Girl opens the door and gestures for her mother to enter before following her.

It’s strange. So much has changed in the Girl’s life, yet Tommy’s store remains untouched by everything that’s happened in barely a week. There’s no inkling, not even a hint, that an entire revolution, a succession, just occurred. 

There’s nothing to indicate Battery City’s crumbling, nothing to indicate that the Girl blew up, that she saved thousands of lost souls. There’s no indication of the rebuilding of a new and improved society drenched in colour and freedom and love. 

It was like that, too, when the Fabulous Killjoys died. It felt like the only place in the entire desert where nothing changed. All the products were there, and ever-grumpy Tommy was happy to snap at particularly annoying customers.

The two of them slip inside and begin to head straight towards the counter. Tommy’s turned the other way, his back facing them as he reads a magazine. The radio cheerfully chirps a bit of pop music from the DJ that took over Newsie and Hot Chimp’s radio station after they died.

In those few moments between walking through the door and reaching the counter, the Girl is suddenly aware that Tommy is the only remaining connection to her old life under the Killjoys. Helena is a connection to her past, but truly she’s the bridge to a new future.

But Tommy is the only person still alive that witnessed so many eras. He fought in the Helium Wars, he created the shop during the Analog Wars, and he was there for the rise and fall of the Fabulous Killjoys, and has now witnessed this new era after BLi’S eradication. Tommy’s the only person who survived from the group that served in the Helium Wars- Party Poison, Hot Chimp, Dr. D, and Cherri Cola. He’s the only person still alive that had connections to the Fabulous Four, who knew them personally. He’s the only person alive who knew the DJs intimately. 

It’s strange, to realise there’s only one person on this earth who has memories of your loved ones, who knew all of them personally, and for that person to be fucking Tommy Chow Mein.

“Hey, Tommy!” The Girl finally greets. Tommy doesn’t move for a moment, instead flicking another page of his magazine.

“As you can see,” Tommy drawled, “I’ve got a line of customers here. So be quick.”

The Girl notices Helena stiffen beside her. She focuses on Tommy though, wanting his attention. “Yeah yeah, you’re real busy. Look, we’re just here to grab some supplies before we head into the city. But my mom and I were wondering if you knew anything about a vehicle we could steal? Walking through all those zones is a whole new level of hell.”

There’s a pause. Tommy closes his magazine and finally turns around, a curious expression plastered on his face. “Wait, your mom?”

The Girl nods enthusiastically, before presenting her mother with the wave of her hands. “Look! Helena Milligram, my mom! I finally found her!”

Tommy and Helena stare at each other for a few minutes. There’s this bizarre tension between the two of them, and now that the Girl thinks about it, Helena did mention serving with a man named Tommy. Was that…?

“Helena?” Tommy croaks. Oh, it’s a strange sound to hear from his usual pretentious and condescending tones.

“Tommy?” Her mother whispers right back.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” Tommy asks, in a tone almost mirroring his usual nonchalance. Almost- his eyes are watery and his voice still sounds tear stained.

Helena laughs. “Is that what you guys think happened to me?”

“Well, Party Poison said you were Draced, but I always assumed you probably ended up dead not long after that.” He knocks his skull with his fist. “Dracs are a bit brainless.”

Helena voices a similar question that the Girl had. “Party Poison?”

Tommy leans against the counter, before glancing at the Girl. A few gears seem to be turning in his head, and he suddenly begins to laugh. “God, I always knew you were their kid. You are the perfect combination between them both.”

“Backtrack,” the Girl demanded. “Wait, how did Party Poison know my mom was Draced? Was Party Poison there at the raid?”

Helena frowned. “I don’t know a Party Poison.”

Tommy’s laughter dies a bit. There’s something mischievous in his eyes, yet at the same time solemn, like he knows what he’s about to say isn’t very funny. “Ah, I guess the name change was after your time, Helena. After you died, Mike changed their name. They became Party Poison.”

Something snaps inside the Girl.

Helena’s confusion only grows. “Wait, what do you mean? Tommy, Mike Milligram died in that raid. I was the only survivor.”

“No, you weren’t.” Tommy crosses his arms. “In fact, you weren’t even a survivor. The only survivor of that raid was Mike Milligram. They survived that raid on March 21st, 2013. They survived, but they had been nearly fatally injured. Cherri Cola managed to basically revive them back from the brink of death. Mike was the one to tell us what happened to you. Mike lived.”

Helana leaned into the counter, her fingers gripping the edge. “Tommy, I watched them die.”

“Not that time. Mike survived, and became Party Poison.”

“Tommy, this isn’t fucking funny,” the Girl finally managed to choke out. He had to be pulling their legs, he had to be fucking around with them. 

“I know,” Tommy says, in a voice that’s softer than anything she’s heard come out of his mouth. “I’m not joking.”

“Mike… Mike survived.” Helena runs her fingers through her hair. “Where are they now? Where are they?”

The Girl places the photograph of her mother and Mike on the counter. In the fluorescent lights of the shop, she stares at the ghosts transfixed in time.

Her memory of her siblings has faded a long, long time ago. She’s forgotten the songs Jet Star would sing her, the humming sounds Kobra always made, the mischievous way Ghoul’s eyes would light up when he wanted to pull a prank, the sound of Party Poison’s voice as they told her story upon story. She’s forgotten so many details, so many smaller details, and she’s even lost clarity over their faces. She can’t even remember what they look like.

But she can recognise them.

And the face that’s laughing at Helena’s is a face she knows.

It’s Party Poison.

Party Poison served in the wars with Helena, Party Poison and Helena fell in love, Party Poison survived the raid that killed all their peers, Party Poison is her fucking parent.

Her knees feel awfully weak with this realisation. Of fucking course. That’s why Mike Milligram sounded so fucking familiar.

Mike and Poison’s favourite colour was red. They both wanted to fly planes. They both loved sweet foods. They both loved the stars. When the Girl couldn’t sleep, Party Poison would take her to the roof of the diner and point out constellations and tell her the stories behind them until she finally fell asleep in their arms.

Kobra Kid is trans. She knows his dead name is Emily, because Korse constantly called him that. Mike's older sister, Emily, was actually Kobra Kid. And Mike was Party Poison.

It makes sense. It makes fucking sense the longer the Girl thinks about it, and everything aches in her the longer she does. 

“Party Poison’s dead,” she finally whispers. Helena whips her head from Tommy down to her. The Girl can feel tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “They’re one of the Killjoys that went into Battery City for me.”

Helena pulls the Girl into her arms, and the Girl begins to sob. “Mom, I killed Party Poison. I killed my own parent. They died because of me. I killed my fucking parent.”

The Girl killed Party Poison. Party Poison, who was her own fucking parent, who raised her and loved her. She killed Mike Milligram, she killed Party Poison. She killed her parent.

“Baby, you didn’t kill Mike.” Helena pulls away and drops to her knees to be eye level with the Girl. “Honey, you didn’t ask Mike to save you. You didn’t tell Party Poison to do it. You didn’t force any of the Fabulous Killjoys into rescuing you. They did that out of their own heart, out of their own love. They knew you were important, and they loved you so dearly, so, so dearly. It’s not your fault.”

The Girl sniffles. There’s a whole new guilt clawing at her soul. She always blamed herself for their deaths, always knew that she was the reason they died. If she hasn’t gotten kidnapped, then her family could still be alive. But there’s just a whole new ache to this familiar tune. Because this means she killed her fucking parent, and she killed her fucking uncle. They died for her.

“Did Party Poison know?” The Girl whispers, watching Tommy with wide eyes.

Tommy struggles. He seems a bit awkward, probably considering what just happened in front of him. “Honestly, I never had actual confirmation you were Helena’s kid. Dr. D wasn’t keen on letting anyone know who you were, and I guess I finally understand that now. But if Helena’s your mom, that has to mean Mike is your parent. Unless Helena was cheating at the time.”

“Fuck off.”

“And that’s unlikely.” Tommy leaned back in the counter and watched the Girl with an almost fond gaze. “I’ve always had my suspicions about your relation to Party Poison and Helena, but I never had it confirmed. And considering Dr. D was going through great lengths to keep it a secret, I really doubt Party Poison knew, too. You know them- oblivious as all fuck.”

“I never did tell Mike I was pregnant,” Helena adds. “Party Poison couldn’t have known, really. They thought I was basically dead.”

“But Dr. D knew.” Tommy stares at the Girl. “And I know he wouldn’t have told Party Poison.”

This is almost worse, in the Girl’s opinion. This means Party Poison and their gang had absolutely no reason to keep her, to love her, to die for her. In their eyes, she wasn’t blood family, she was just a cute kid they saved from the city. And they still loved her like a daughter- they all did.

“But why wouldn’t Dr. D tell anyone?” The Girl whispered.

“Honestly, I don’t know. But this is just my take.” Tommy glances at Helena. “Look, after you died, they were a fucking mess. They just watched their entire family get decimated before their eyes. And that changes a person. Dr. D knew that if he gave them even a hint that you could possibly be alive, that Poison had even a hint of saving you, Poison would go absolutely ballistic. They would recklessly do everything in their power to find you and save you, and Dr. D knew that their crew would follow them to the ends of hell and back again. Whatever Poison would do, it would probably get them and the others killed.

“Dr. D was trying to keep them alive. You know how that man was, a bit radical and a bit manipulative. The Fabulous Killjoys had gained a lot of traction, and Dr. D saw their value. He didn’t want them dead unless it would mean something.” Tommy shrugged. “I might be Dr. D’s brother, but I don’t know everything about him. But I think he kept it all under wraps to keep Poison in line. You know, until the Killjoys went off the deep end trying to save you.”

Helena runs her fingers through the Girl’s hair. “That wasn’t his choice to make. He knows how ecstatic Mike would’ve been to know they have a kid. I can’t believe that bastard fucking kept this from them.”

It all makes sense. That’s why the Girl wasn’t given any information about Helena until after Poison died. That’s why there was never any mention of her other parent. Because if Poison connected the dots, Dr. D knew they’d go off the deep end like they did when Helena died.

It still hurts, to realise her parent had been there this entire time, only to die before she realised it.

But that’s not entirely true, is it? Because she always thought of the Fabulous Killjoys as her parents, more so than siblings, really. And they loved her like a parent would, all of them. She knew they were her parental figures.

It still hurts, though.

“Well,” Tommy begins, a bit thoughtfully. “It sucks, sure, but think of it this way- you ended up getting to meet both of your parents.”

That’s true.

It’s strange, to think that the Girl initially started out with no parents in her life. She had the Killjoys, for certain, but they weren’t biological. She will still call them her parents, even to her mother, because it’s true. But blood wise, she started out with none.

And now, she has her mother in her life. And she used to have Party Poison in her life.

She can’t help but wonder what life would have been like if the world wasn’t so cruel. She can’t help but wonder what it would have been like if perhaps both Mike and Helena Milligram had been Draced together, kept together, until she blew up. Or if Mike escaped and became Party Poison and managed to learn that Helena was still alive. Or if perhaps Party Poison hadn’t died and stayed long enough to reunite with Helena again. 

She doesn’t know what those worlds would look like, and perhaps it’s for the best. If she had to give up any of her experiences with the Fabulous Killjoys just to be with her blood family, well, the trade off wouldn’t be worth it, even if it was only for four years.

She holds Helena’s hands and smiles, gently. There’s still so much she has to learn about her mother, about her parents, about the world before she was born. There’s still a society that needs to be fixed, a crumbling Battery City filled with confused civilians to restore. There’s still Korse loose amuck the ruins of the desert, who must be found and must atone.

“When you guys are done in the city,” Tommy begins. “You better visit me. But take your time.”

He begins to move out from the counter. “Now, you guys said you needed a car? I think I have a trans am that would probably work in your favour.”

Helena ruffles the Girl’s hair. “You always seemed to have the most convenient items.”

“I like to be prepared. Now, follow me, kiddos.”

Helena complains about Tommy, annoyed because she’s a grown adult now. She’s in her thirties, for Christ’s sake. The Girl laughs at Tommy’s expense, and the three leave the store as Helena begins to tell a story about Tommy’s strange penchant for having just the right timing and items, and her favourite example was on a day where it was dark and stormy, and she and Mike were on a patrol…

The Girl listens to every word. She knows she’ll never get over the sting of having her family be ripped away from her right before her eyes, to know that her parent had been right beside her this whole time. She’ll always hold a grudge against Dr. D, and she’ll probably always mourn the what ifs in her life.

But now isn’t the time to stay buried in the past.

There’s a future she has to rebuild, brick by brick. She may have been the detonator, and perhaps she’s already lived up to her saviour title, but what’s a saviour if they leave the people left in the aftermath to rot?

She’s just human. And she has a lifetime to make sure not to waste.

So she holds her mother’s calloused hands and listens to her stories.

**Author's Note:**

> obviously i do think you know found family is very important and i tried to stress that- the girl does love jets Star & fun ghoul. but it sure does feel different to realise kobra kid & Poison are actually related, but didn’t know it.
> 
> like, they didn’t know they were related to her and they still loved her and treated her like a daughter and died for her. there’s definitely a new feeling upon learning that.


End file.
